Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

i have found a new passion. it is to drink out of the toilet.
not only drink out of the toilet... but to first track my paws through the cat litter then drink from the toilet so it makes a mess and you can tell i have been there.
perhaps if my water was changed more often i wouldn't have to drink from such places.

i have a new house and a new roomate. she likes to show me who is boss. i am not sure how i feel about this. i pretty much just want to be friends.

there is an outdoor cat that likes to spray. let me outside.. and i will teach him a lesson.
i have been notified i don' post enough. i will try to get off my lazy ass mroe often to satisfy these requests.
time for a nap.

those dreaded beasts are gone...
i am home alone with all the glories of being the only cat in the house...
they left their cat box... and i have been pooping all over it.

i get to go outside more now.
i have fleas... but not that many...

wench won't let me sit in her lap so this is where the post ends.

so the wench came back after a while..as she returned the other person who spent more time with the other cats left... i gave her the proper amount of shit and ignoring the first day, but was soon back to cuddling in her lap..
ive finally got the other cats in the house trained to sniff my butt and almost play with me... when i try to chase them they freak out... what the hell?
i had a great day today. the other cats got locked in the bedrooms and i got to go out to roll on the concrete... until an unruly dog interupted... but the concrete was warm and the grass was tasty... and i still reign supreme in this house by being the only cat who gets to go outside.

time to eat.

those stupid cats!...
i tell you... the wench got down the toy that i hate and those two cats were all over it... once they learn how stupid they look, they will hang their heads in shame from that toy... then again if they like it maybe i want to play with it...
that damn girl cat still won't be my friend but the boys don't mind giving me a butt sniff every now and again... they still won't play yet.. still trying to figure out their language.. i like to play.. im so playful! (rolls over and shows tummy)

but in other news... i now really piss all of them off by pooping in their catbox!
now that really shows them who is boss!

they try to sit in my window.. and the wenches bed is off limits to anyone but me.. and the one female cat when i am being nice...

still a major insanity chaos fuck up of new cats in my life at the moment...
do i really want it to end... of course! i am selfish.. but in the mean time am enjoying the company.

so we finally got things clear... its MY house... i am the boss...
we are starting to get along.
the black one even tried to sniff my butt and i almost got the grey one to start playing with me... but then the wench had to go and ruin it by giving him catnip... then he went crazy..
we are still friends...
but he likes to meow a lot. then again i do that... but only when i am alone!! or think i am... at least they respect my territory, and keep my food and catbox off limits..
i just need to get that growling female off my bed and everything will be perfect...
all she does is sleep. what the hell is up with that?

wench hasn't let me out in a while.. i need my own outside personal time to be able to cope with this traffic jam of cats in my life... but for now.. its time to sleep... (yes again)

pussy invasion
i don't even know where to start... i was outside eating grass when next thing i know there is a weird smell coming from my house i go in to investigate and there are THREE carrier boxes with whining things inside. I further investigate and they turn out to be cats!
The lady who brought them here with the red heair leaves, and they get placed in the spare bedroom and the door is closed. i can hear them in there...
so the next day the wench lets one of them out. he is grey with stipes... about as big as me.. and i thought i was a big kitty.. he walks around and we sometimes try to yell and see who can growl louder. I ALWAYS win of course. he seems ok. we hung out on opposite sides of the couch last night. the wench kept petting us both but as i a have her trained so well, she of course pet me more.
i think we will be friends.
the other two seem like spazes... the one black one walks out then sees me and just starts growling and hissing.. and doesn't do anything but stand there growling and hissing for hours... like he is paralized with my magnificence... stupid cat. then the one who kinda looks like me just sits in the corner of the spare room and stares. she doesnt move... well, until i found her this morning under MY bed.
the wench left the door to their room open so they think it is fine to go in my room. it is not... well it might be as long as they know i am the one who sleeps on the bed.
but i can't complain too much they don't touch my water, food or catbox. they know whats up.

the wench went out of town AGAIN.. this time it was a new babysitter, and she was nice and gave me a different kind of drops that made ALL the fleas go away.
now i can walk on the floor... and sleep wherever.
the wench came back and we made peace after i bit her ankle to show her i was mad at her leaving.
i have all kinds on new LJ cat friends online now! perhaps one of these days there will be a device you can hook up to sniff each others butts online... but for now you just get kitty pictures and journals. maybe i should invent this...
or better yet take a nap.

the rain has made most of the fleas leave me and the house. i am a happy kitty.
by the looks of the living room, the wench is planning to ditch me yet again. she does this from time to time. perhaps i will pee on her suitcase like last time.

there are wretched children who just moved ina few houses down who like to scream and play in the back yard. it disturbs my peaceful sleep on theb ack patio. i swear they will be taken care of within the next few weeks if they don't shut the hell up. but then again as long as they know not to mess with me i think we can find a happy medium.

i like to sleep.
wench likes to not let me sleep on the bed now that we have fleas.. but i sit on her lap.. and got her work infected... she got a very nasty email from a coworker about how flea jumped onto his leg while he was at work... i reign as triumphant!!! why do i find this most satisfying? if i have to suffer everyone has to suffer...

wench let me stay out all night last night.. it was much fun much chaos, but luckily she knew to let me in when i was realy obnoxious scratching at the door... and the forcing her out of bed before she had to go to work was all the more enjoyable... stupid flea collars..

in the mean time my food bowl has been relocated..yet again... which is going to require thinking...

for now.. as usual. i sleep...

so i have fleas...

it was one thing when i kept them contained to my body... but then the wench decided she is trying to help and give me the drops... i then proceeded to pee on her suitcase.. i really hate the drops...
anywyas.. the fleas jump off me and into the carpet...

now i can't step on the carpet. i jump from table to bed to couch to counter in avoidence of the little buggers... i have only stepped on the carpet 3 times today... the rest is all in part of my skillfull acrobatics...

i almost wish the fleas stayed on me.. at least i would have more of a house. since then i have had two baths and a new stinky-ass collar.. none of which has helped... she thought hte powder would help. then the spray.. bwa ha ha she doesnt know anything.... the fleas are in control now... and there is nothing that will save her soul... shouldn't have given me the drops... the wrath of stupid kitty has taken effect full force...

in the mean time i perch here on the computer desk... avoiding fleas...

i love clicking the blinds. its really obnoxious..
im not sure what happened the other day.. but they attacked me. it started with just wanting to look out the window.. next thing i knew the string had my hand... then it had my body. i tried to slowly walk away and it had me held tight. when i would walk the blinds would go up... this did not make me happy
it made it worse when bitch and the boy were laughing at my situation. come on man! have some compassion.
so with one final jump fast the blinds went up and i escaped... but for now im not sure if clicking the blinds is such a nice idea any more.

speaking of which.. im on tribes now... i figured there were enough people joined to the stupid kitty tribe.. i had to see what was going on....
stupid kitty is my name... hoping to see fellow LJ kitties there..
or maybe i am behind or something...
time for sleep..

long time no entry....

so that wench i live with lets me go out more often...
i have a new arch enemy... he is a grey cat with white socks... and he pooped on my patio. i show him every time i see him...

I also showed the baby doberman who was boss... he yelped and ran behind his owner. the wench had to come out and make me go back inside.. but boy i told him what was up.. that patch of grass out back is mine!!! :)

well time to steal heat from my roomate.

i dont know what happened.
but there is this weird cold white stuff on the ground making it impossible to eat the grass that is below it.

my roomate let me out on my leash today... but as i walked out ont he white stuff my feet would sink in and freeze.. wasnt much fun to go outside at all, and happily went back inside...

i hope the snow is gone soon... havent harassed her too much to let me out sicne then....

snow!!!
my roomate let me out in the snow today! ive never seen anything like it. I didnt want to go back in... but it was really wet ad cold. its all gone now... then the wench decided i needed to get blow-dried before she left for work. it was horrible!
but i did get dry... so i guess it was worth it.
currently my favorite thing to torture her with is biting her wrists when she is typing. she should be petting me! not typing...
i think i have her almost persuaded!

a story of my name.. for sukicat!
when i first found my home my human roomates couldnt decide on a name. the boys called me stupid kitty and the girl called/calls me little kitty. one of the boy's girlfriends gave me some name in japanese no one could pronounce... I mostly go by little kitty, but answer to stupid as well. especially now that i only live with the girl roomate...

they put stupid kitty on my name tag so no body would steal me... why would anyone want a stupid cat? we must return him to his owners immediately! stupid kitties need the most attention.

but the girl couldnt bring herself to put "stupid kitty" on a new nametag... this one just says "duh..." and has our phone number.
needless to say it was one of the boy roomates who originally set up this journal.. and the name does fit..

so thats the stupid kitty story.
im quite loved, and my girl roomate knows im brighter than i let on to be.

i got to go on the high up places that i normally cant reach today. but i couldnt get down from the closet shelf.. but luckily that wench was close enough to save me. but i did act like i wasnt stuck by clawing at the blanket that was on the shelf not interested at all in coming down...
i showed her...

now safely back on the ground... having a happy holidays. she got me a different kind of food i like to eat more. and a new collar.
this one doesnt say "stupid kitty" .. it just says "duh..." with a phone number. but that is her way of letting me go outside. and even though i have to wear a stupid collar with a jingle bell.. i get to go outside more often now. so cant complain too much.

that wench should let me outside now! last time i went outside this scary dog tried to chase me but it was attached to a human so it couldnt get far. i still had to go inside before it tried to eat me. even though i didnt want to go out for a while im ready to outside again!

bitch! let me out!
mrow!

time for a real post.. not one that has been translated...

but the window is so inviting....
im going to kill her one of these days...

in the mean time...

jkv k,mmmmmmmmcccccccccccccc ,m n z vcn hndcccccccccccccccccccccccccccnshjzbdxcbbbbbbbbbdx,mmuijrfffffffffffffffffffufjkgvvvvvkkkkkkkkkkkkkcvfcbxc k,l.hkgmvb,uijfiuuhjruyhjuyrfdyhdfikkkrfijklh,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,l.nn bbbb

the war is on....

that bitch wont let me walk in front of her when she is staring into that idiot box...

i then procede to click at the blinds and claw the carpet.
i will show her...

i tried to explain i was bored and tired cause she was taking a nap for too long... right when she was about to fall asleep i started knocking shit over. she should have been doing homework anyways...
later in the night i was winnign her attention, then she proceeded to play with me for a good ten minutes.. it was all i needed... i went right to sleep after being thrown up in the air and chased the laser pointer and was being chased all around the house.

then i woke up and she didnt understand why i wanted to start it all over again. what a bitch

why doesnt she understand i want to go outside?

i will break her soul eventually..
time to eat and lick my butt...

that bitch wont play with me.

but she did brush me.
that boy that comes over sprinkled salt on my back tonight cause i was standing on the stove. my roomate thought i was dirty and at least i got a free brushing out of it before she went back to doing homework.

i have found the most recent way to annoy her is to click on the blinds by the front door. speaking of which..

there is a bastard cat who keep taunting me.
he stands outside the door making fun cause he is outside and i am in here.. what a punk!.. if i had the chance i would beat his ass.

my roomate thinks its funny when my tail gets all big and my mohawk starts to come up from my back.. but that for sure shows that cat outside who is boss!!!

tiem for sleep. my food dish better be full dammit

i still cant tell if im interested in the laser pointer..

she keeps testing it on me,
and i still keep losing interest.

i like to sniff the fire in the fireplace.

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